I am down eleven pounds in 3 and a half weeks. I reached the 5% mark and feel pretty good about that. I am remaining focused and have added some walking to the mix, but not nearly enough. After being off all summer and getting back to work, I am a little frazzled by the time I get home. Obviously, I am making excuses, but that is one behavior I have not gotten over.

I am not too motivated to write about this journey. It seems that I am apathetic when it comes to documentation of a diet. Is there any enlightenment I can share? Probably not. Diet is what it is-less calories, better food choices, and exercise. Calories in, calories out. A real no-brainer if you ask me. The problem isn’t weight loss, the problem is weight gain. For some reason, I sabotage myself every step of the way once I get it off. So, this time, I have to figure it out.

I lost 7.2 pounds the first week on Jenny Craig. Yeah, water weight loss but a loss is a loss. This week I hope to add more exercise daily, but that is where I really fail myself. I have every excuse in the book for not finding the time to do one of the hundreds of DVD workouts I own. So, I will try not to make excuses.

The Jenny Craig diet is expensive; but, the food is great and I hate cooking for myself. So, for my lifestyle it is perfect. I don’t want anyone to think you don’t have to grocery shop because you do. You need skim milk, vegetables, and fruits. I use a low fat dressing instead of the Jenny Craig packets so that saves me some money. Anyway, if you try it just know it’s expensive.

I hope to figure out why I tend to gain weight after losing it. Obviously, I don’t know how to eat right. But, I love food. If I could lose weight and learn to eat healthy food that tastes good and is satisfying maybe I would learn to keep off what I lose. Maybe.

Okay, so we all know the food is great and all, but I am still hungry. 1200 calories is not much food when you are used to eating a bunch more. But, I am sticking to it and hoping for success at the scale. I am sure I have dropped some weight, but wonder if it will be enough to keep me focused, since this is about weight loss.

I often wonder why I feel the need to be thin. Certainly, I want to feel better and look better, but is that all there is to weight loss? People say fat people use their fat to hide from life. Nope, not me. I did not plan to be fat, it is just something that happens over time. My body does not react the same as others. For example, not all sedentary people are fat and they eat just as much junk food as I do, but they stay thin. So, regardless of what others say or think, my body reacts differently.

On a weeks vacation, I walked daily and melted in the Florida heat at Disney World. I ate the same as everyone else, maybe even less beacuse I had a cold, and I put on ten pounds in a week. Yeah, I know it was fluid gain, but gain is gain. And this has happened more than once in my life, so it is something I have to deal with that others don’t.

I am drinking plenty of water and trying to get some walking in daily to boost my metabolism. At the age of 54 and having had a total hystorectomy two and a half years ago, my metabolism is shot. So, I plug along and hope that my body will accept the new way of eating and drop the weight.

I am moving forward and have been on Jenny Craig for three days. My weight loss counselor told me that for the first three days I would be hungry and she was so right. I have been hungry but not to the point of throwing up my hands and quiting. I worked through it by drinking more water and eating free veggies. So far, I have been on the program 100% and have committed to continue by talking myself through the rough spots.

The food on Jenny Craig is wonderful. I have eaten something different every day and so far everything I have eaten has been excellent. So, when people talk about cost, they need to know the quality of the food is exceptional and satisfying. I have probably eaten every frozen meal known to men, and Jenny Craig beats the all hands down. The portion size is small, but it’s probably because I am so used to the king size version of everything and not real portions. This is another bump in the road that I have to face in order to lose weight and maintain a healthy weight for the rest of my life.

I know that drinking water is required to be successful because it helps to even out retention and bloat. I will probably lose a lot more the first week because of water weight loss, but a loss is a loss regardless of why. Plus, a bigger loss the first week is a great motivator.

I bought a 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle yesterday to help be keep busy when I find my mind drifting towards food. People who have never fought an eating disorder do not understand how a person can have food on their mind 24-7; but, I do. It’s an obsession that I have to fight daily. Having my day planned for me is a help. Yet, I know the day will come that the plan will be my own. This week I realized the importance of planning for the week and making a plan that tells me exacty what I will eat daily. This takes away the 24-7 thinking about food since it’s planned out. Not a breakthrough, but at least a step in the right direction.

I will end by saying that I have a very deep Spiritual base and have asked God to guide me along the way. I believe that with His help, I will overcome this disorder and finally have the body He wants me to have. May we all be blessed in our endeavors.

All of my life I have been on a diet. I am the first to admit that I gain weight because I eat too much and exercise too little. I also have little or no will power to say no to all the foods I love. Now, I could look to blaim others, but what good is that. The fact remains that I am fat because I eat too much.

Yesterday, I went to the area Jenny Craig and signed up for a year. I am not Valerie or the Queen L. and nobody is paying me to document my journey. It is just something I feel I need to do to help me finally figure out why I choose to overeat and gain back all the weight I have lost over and over again.

Jenny Craig is expensive and while others may not be able to afford the diet I hope that my comments will at least help someone make a choice to diet regardless of what course of action they choose. I am not promoting Jenny Craig, I am simply letting people know it’s my choice. I have tried every other diet out there, and since I had not tried Jenny, I figured what did I have to lose.

So, today I started and made a plan for the week to be 100% faithful to the plan. As a reward, I will buy a Pandora bead for my newly started bracelet for every 10 pounds I lose. Then, when I lose the forty or so pounds I have to lose, I will buy a bead for every eight weeks I maintain my weight.